A teenage friend of mine was in a motorcycle accident last week. He was riding behind the driver (like the girl in the photo) when their bike collided into the rear of another motorcycle that had three people on it. Tragically, the passenger that was closest to the impact on the other motorbike was killed. Thankfully my friend came away with just a few minor scratches and a black eye.
Later I found out the family of the deceased requested a large settlement from the driver who was at fault. This was just and normal, but what happened later wasn’t. My friend’s family paid for half the amount requested by the surviving relatives. I thought to myself, “Why did his family have to pay anything?” Thai law doesn’t require that a third party should compensate for loss of life. My friend was just the passenger, so how could he be at fault or responsible? None of the people involved in the accident were related by blood so I still didn’t understand what had happened. Were they just being gracious?
I found out later this has nothing to do with injustice or grace but of maintaining honor. If my friend had not helped financially his family would’ve been viewed as stingy and unkind. That may not mean much to us (from the Western worldview) but has incredible importance in the East. There was an even a more decisive factor that played a part in this drama. The reputation of the village would’ve been harmed as well. Our village is known throughout the area for its generosity and kindness. In Lue the word that describes these characteristics is namcay, which literally means “water heart”. To say that someone or a group of people doesn’t have namcay is major black mark on their character. The village would have been considered a place of no namcay (i.e. a place of shame). My friend, his family and his village’s reputation could have been severely tarnished (for months or years) if he didn’t help financially. Sustaining honor is deep-seated in the core of the Lue heart. It could be compared to how an American views freedom or individual rights. How a group is viewed is as vital as breathing. Therefore my friend’s family was obligated to give a cash sum. It did not cross their minds this was an unjust act. Upholding the community’s honor had exceedingly more value than the loss of individual funds.
How diametrically different the Lue worldview is to my own. I looked at this as either an unjust or gracious act in contrast to my neighbor’s need to preserve the honor of the community and family clan.
February 26th, 2009 at 5:48 am
Hi Rob!
Yes, that is strange but if honor is a BIG thing in their culture then it makes perfect sense that his family would pay the money.
February 28th, 2009 at 5:50 am
Good thoughts man! Way to be a learner. Keep it up…our prayers are with you.
March 2nd, 2009 at 3:34 pm
Hey, Rob! Greetings from Hershey, PA (yes, Chocolate Town … The Vista School is actually on Cocoa Avenue).
Fascinating observations there, Rob. Not very familiar with Thai culture, but I’ve read similar things about African culture over the years. Thanks for sharing.
Jim
P.S. It was good to see Alfie’s name up there … and good to see the old InGathering crowd is still communicating.